Was it a desire of yours even as a little girl to get married one day? What was your passion that kept your desire alive to want to be married? Was it sex, the big wedding, the nice ring, the fame it would bring or was it the desire to spend the rest of your life with a best friend creating a family that pleased Yahweh every step of the way as you advanced the kingdom.
It was a quest over my youthful years to discover what keeps a marriage together and what tears a marriage apart? Me being the analyst I am innately, I studied marriages by observing and asking questions. I often attended several weddings, listened to the vows exchanged, watched them grow together or separate over the years. I often asked myself what is Love? Should love be the driving force of marriage? What do they mean when they say I fell out of love? I watched my parents, my grandparents, my aunts and uncles, my coworkers, my friends, celebrity marriages, first family marriages etc. seeking the clues of the do’s and the don’t’s.
I even started having relationship discussions at home while in college leading up to now to try and discover what are people really desiring when it comes to marriage? Why do they get married? Why are they still single? It was very interesting to hear how different nationalities viewed marriages and the differences of viewpoints for those in different age brackets. The research was amazing and overwhelming all at the same time.
I dated in college only to discover it was leading me to heart break after heart break or to a dead end for various reasons; wasn’t a viscous cycle just enough to make me say hmmm; there has got to be a different way. It was when I started to know Tikealia after building a relationship with Christ that I changed the game. I started seeking wholesome courting…
- Prayed for a mate and waited on confirmation from God!
- Maintained my standards or at least what I valued as standards.
- Sex would only happen after marriage. Etc.
After being a widow, with some experience under my belt, I sought God with ALL I had left without compromise seeking the TRUTH! I hid myself in ministry… I met a few guys along this journey… each teaching me something different about love, honesty, respect. The key this time was that they were all saved with a different viewpoint on marriage.
11 years ago, I met my husband without looking… As I stated earlier, Marriage was always a desire for me. Ministry became a driving force to accept marriage. I knew my purpose and I accepted Tikealia as she was- flaws and all. I knew what it meant to be naked and unashamed…
Marriage is a job you clock into for a lifetime of building, discovering who you are, living through the hurt, disappointments, tears, false expectations of self and others, compromise, long term friendship, combined purpose, multiplying, dying, restoring, building, forgiving, praying, loving unconditionally, letting go of selfishness, tearing down worldly traditions, overcoming temptations, turning a death ear to selfish advice, raising children, embracing the different stages of life, marriage, parenting, and aging etc. this list is still being written…
Today we have 3 children and a baby boy on the way. We have struggled; but yet survived! We have doubted; but never quit! We have been tested; and passed! We have been talked about; but still managed to keep pressing together! We exposed our weak areas in front of others; but still managed to pull the pieces back together! We have prayed, cried; but yet held on! We’re far from perfect but being perfected daily!
My husband is my best friend. I share everything with him. I love being with him at all times. I look forward to him coming home. I love talking his ears off. I love cooking for him. I love working with him. We don’t always agree nor do we have everything but we work through it!
Happy 10 year Anniversary my love… lets keep growing together! I love you with All my heart…
Today my advice to you is…
- Seek God for understanding who you are.
- Love yourself.
- Dismantle generational curses.
- Seek God for His principles on marriage.
- Remove sex, kissing, dating and pursue wholesale abstinence.
- Seek wise counsel.
- Surround yourself with like minded marriages.
- Never give up!
- Keep God first!
- Seek God on what to do next.
- Never stop dating.
- Have fun together.
- Cry together.
- Most importantly communicate daily- have the hard conversations.
- Accept you are not perfect.
- Grow together!
- Be each other’s best friend!
- Create your own traditions.
- Leave and cleave…
Happy 10 years to us and many more to come… Love on purpose!
Happy Anniversary Beautiful family
Thank you!