Healing Together…

Growth is defined as an evolution. It is the ability to advance in an area. It is the ability to grow in an area that was once stagnant. Growth is an opportunity to move forward. The key is to grow and move forward in wisdom and maturity going from one level to the next creating a path for others to follow. At some point we don’t grow , we keep moving but we stay stagnant to evolution. As you move forward in this blog I encourage you to open your mind to accept that a marriage is designed to create growth!

Throughout life you will endure some type of hurt and there will be different types of hurt. You could experience hurt from a parent, a sibling, a friend, a coworker, a school teacher, infertility, loss of a loved one due to death, a failed relationship, a career disappointment, and the list goes on and on. Whatever hurt it is/was it can have a lasting impact on you if you let it. The greatest of the hurt comes from someone you trusted and put all faith in for your development of true love. What does that mean? It doesn’t hurt if you were not passionate about it. The deepest hurt comes from a place that was vulnerable, violated, mistreated, misunderstood, etc.

If you do not deal with your hurt and unforgiveness; you will spill hurt wherever you go. You will create broken relationships and a trail of hurt people. You were once the victim but now you are the author of someone else’s hurt. It is in this hurt that you create cycles. It is in this hurt you develop a definition of love that is dysfunctional and you expect everyone near you to understand your reasoning for your actions and accept it.

In a marriage, your spouse should not be the victim of your previous hurt. Your spouse should not be loved from your hurt. Your spouse should not be the punching bag of your verbal hurt from a place of unhealed wounds! Your spouse should not have to secure their words of truth due to your lack of the ability to receive constructive criticism. In other words, an unhealed heart bleeds upon the lives of everyone closes to them.

Below are some steps to creating a safe environment for love to thrive in your marriage.

– Be willing to talk it through.

-Be willing to be vulnerable.

-Be willing to face the hurt head on

-Open your heart to be loved all over again in that area.

-Forgive yourself

In marriage, in order for unconditional love to thrive, you must understand what love is. Scripture defines love with many attributes. Just to name a few, love is patient, love is kind, protects and trusts. Let patience have it’s perfect work in your marriage. Be patient enough to allow the hurting spouse to heal in that area. Don’t add wounds to that area. Protect your spouse in that area. Build trust in that area. Remember Yahweh is love. Love covers a multitude of sin! When you don’t know what true love really is, you will abuse it once it is given.

After you have exposed the origin of the hurt, give your self time to heal in that area. The other spouse is to cover you during this time. The other spouse should be praying for your healing. The other spouse should be showering you with love daily. Receive unconditional love daily from your spouse as a friend and NOT an enemy!

Each day you get stronger and stronger and before you know it that place of hurt no longer drives your decision to hurt your spouse subconsciously. It is in the healing process that you can encourage another person. This is the beginning of growth together and moving forward together! Marriage will create a hospital of healing if you let it.

Learn to grow together by healing together and moving forward together in unity!