Love Yourself

As a woman it is easy to love everyone else and not yourself. As a wife it is easy to ensure that you do everything it takes to ensure your husband is satisfied and forget yourself. As a mother it is easy to spend most of your time ensuring that the kids are well taken care of and forget about yourself. As an employee it is so easy to make sure that everyone has what they need in order for work to run smoothly and forget about yourself. As an entrepreneur it is easy to spend numerous hours ensuring that your business is always up and running at all times and forget about yourself. As a friend it is easy to make sure everyone else is ok and forget about yourself. As a daughter it is easy to want to make sure that your parents and your siblings are well taken care of and forget about yourself. It is easy as ministry leader to spend countless hours making sure you are well prepared for your ministry and loose sight of self care for yourself. How many of you can relate to any of these responsibilities and forgot about self? At some point is the midst of all of the many hats that you wear, it is imperative that you take care of yourself. Take a few moments and journey with me as I unfold the steps it took for me to learn to love myself…

• Discover who you are- who does God say I am
• Discover what you like
• Discover a routine check up to ensure you are loving on yourself

Who Am I

One day I woke up after wearing all of the hats I mentioned in the previous paragraph and said to myself who are you? I sat there for a few minutes and could not come up with any answers. For a moment I realized that I had been everything to everyone else and was not taking care of myself. I thought it was the right thing to do to ensure that everyone else was taken care of, if not my job, definitely my husband and my kids. Surely I must make sure that they are taken care of at all times at all cost and sacrifice time for myself. To discover if I am not taking proper care of me, how can I expect to be healthy for everyone else. When I was single I spent time with God to get to know Tikealia inside and out. What makes her happy, what makes her sad, what places her in a restoration moment, how does she want to be loved. Believe it or not, I became very familiar with these answers and applied them on a regular basis in my singleness, but somehow after I started to wear many hats, I lost Tikealia along the way. In the midst of the many responsibilities I had taken on over the years, I became all things to everyone else and not myself.

I begin to seek the scriptures to determine who am I. Psalm 139:14 states that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Genesis 1:27 states that God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. Proverbs 31:10 states a wife of noble character who can find? She is worth more than rubies. Proverbs 31:26 states she speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. Proverbs 31:28 states her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her. Finally proverbs 31:30 states charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. It was at this moment I begin to declare over myself, I am a child of God, I was created in His image and His likeness. I am beautiful because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am a wife of noble character that has been found by an awesome husband. Wisdom is the principle that flows from my mouth at ALL times. I am a daughter of the King, I am a faithful wife to a faithful man, I am a loyal and loving mother to my kids, I am faithful to what I do and I do it all for the glory of God! I am a woman of God that will speak to the lives of other women and declare who they are in God and I will speak to marriages to ensure they understand the covenant and uphold it according to the Word. I am a minister of the gospel that comes boldly to the throne to deliver what thus saith the Lord. I know that I can do all things through Christ that strenghthens me (Phillipians 4:13). No weapon formed against me shall prosper (Isaiah 54:17). If God be for me; who can be against me (Romans 8:31). It is when I begin to declare these words in the atmosphere Tikealia came forth again. Tikealia not only existed but began to live! Ask yourself the question, who are you? Why are you here? What is your purpose? Take a journey with God and discover the real you and not the you, you created due to the responsibilities of life, but defined by who does God says I am.

What do I like?

I had to go back to when I was single and write down the things Tikealia liked to do. It was during my reflection that I realized, Tikealia likes to get massages and pedicures, light the fireplace and cuddle under a throw and read a good book, take long baths with the lights off and candles lit with soft music playing in the background while talking to Yahweh (God in Hebrew), trying new restaurants, going to the movies, taking pictures of special moments in her and her family’s life, encouraging other women, planning events and leading relationship discussions, going on vacation several times a year even if it is just a weekend getaway, looking in new homes; especially during parade of homes, and the list goes on and on. After taking on new responsibilities, I realized a lot of the things I liked to do, I was no longer doing anymore on a regular basis because I was too caught up in taking care of everything and everyone else. How many of you know even though I discovered the things I liked to do, it was not easy to implement them into my weekly routine immediately especially being married with 3 kids. Despite my guilt of desiring to do things I liked, I had an understanding husband that pushed me to begin to do the things I loved doing. The first time I went to the movies alone without my family, I cried walking out the door and cried in the truck a few minutes before I left because I felt like I wasn’t holding up my responsibilities as a wife and a mom. Needless to say I eventually drove out of the drive way and made it to the movies on time. Afterwards I strolled through a new neighborhood and looked into several model homes as I took pictures along the way. I ordered me some food that I wanted and then headed back home. This was the beginning of my freedom to do the things I like for Tikealia. Take some time to discover the things you like and start to implement them into your weekly routine. Make taking care of self one of the many hats you wear.

Create a weekly checkup

After discovering the things I like, I realized that it was time for me to start implementing the things that Tikealia like. I made it a date, to go out to eat at least once a week, even if it meant during lunch time alone to have some time to myself. I went to parade of homes annually and would stop into new neighborhoods randomly to see what was new. I would go to the movies alone every so many months to watch a movie that only I wanted to see. I decided to get a pedicure every so many months as I desired. We implemented annually family vacations and weekend getaways throughout the year. I made it a task to take a long bath at least once a week alone to meditate. Doesn’t mean I did not wash daily. Not only should you write down the things that you like to do, you should also create a plan to implement the things you like to do and not feel guilty for doing them. A healthy you, creates a healthy family and a healthy life. If you do not love yourself, don’t expect others to love you. Remember you are fearfully and wonderfully made, you deserve the best things life has to offer, so why not live it doing the things you like to do… If you liked this post; continue to follow Divine Pearls of Purpose for most post like this and don’t forget to share your comments. Thanks for stopping by my blog…