Yahweh has been faithful to me. I have sent up many prayers to him and he has answered many of them. Not only have I sent up prayers, but many people have sent up prayers for me; including those I know and those I don’t know and those that I have never met. There is a generation before me that even prayed for me and I am still living from the aroma of their prayers. Prayer is direct communication from you to our Heavenly Father. In biblical times prayers were like incense burnt directly to heaven. I am so grateful that the effectual fervent prayers of the righteous availeth much. There is power in communication. I choose life every time I send a prayer up with belief and sincerity in my heart without doubt operating in faith that it shall come to pass. I can only control how I operate in faith. Remember everyone is given a measure of faith.
As a little girl, it was my desire to have a little boy first and a little girl next. I didn’t make all the right decisions in life pre the birth of my children, but before they were born I made a decision to marry a man that was chosen by Yahweh to be fruitful with. I was afraid to have children once I graduated from college; however I knew I wanted them.
It was on our one year anniversary we discovered that we might be pregnant. Needless to say, nine months later, my husband and I was blessed to have our son. He was the baby for 3 years. After 2 years my husband and I decided that we wanted more kids. When were given the opportunity to try again before our second child was born I went through the experience of a blighted ovum. My test said I was pregnant but the ultrasound only showed a sac with no baby and of course no heartbeat. My husband and I prayed for weeks for this to turn around with no avail and nothing changed nor did I miscarry as the doctor stated I would if I didn’t have a DNC.
It was an evening at the house I heard the spirit of the Lord say tell your husband to sing. As he began to sing I was instructed to dance. I had no clue what he would sing I was just told to dance. Every movement I made matched the words as he sung. After the song was over I was instructed to look up into the clouds. What I saw was a baby face with 3 angels around the face as if they were carrying a baby to heaven. It was then the spirit of the Lord said I will not allow a female baby to come forth at this moment in your life because there are some things that you have to let go of before I let a female come through your lineage. I begin to cry in tears of joy because I knew then that this sac was not meant to hold a baby but to give my husband and I hope that we could still produce but not at this moment. He knew that hope deferred would make the heart sick.
We spoke to our pastor and his wife about the circumstance and we were instructed to go home and pray for Yahweh to reveal to us where we stop communicating about some things. The sperm and the egg connected but it stopped communicating to go forth with a baby. We talked and agreed for Yahweh’s will to be done in our lives and at 5:00am the next morning I had what I thought was a miscarriage and we made an appointment with the doctor the next day. She checked everything and said your sac is still in tack and I don’t understand why your body will not let go or tell your body your pregnancy has ended. Even with the signs of a miscarriage the sack was still in tack. In other words until the message is fulfilled I don’t care what doctors say, Yahweh gets the final word. It wasn’t going to end until my husband and I agreed to start over and accept the spiritual message in it all. I was so hurt but I held my head high and trusted Yahweh for our next… we agreed to a DNC.
Exactly 3 months later we were pregnant again and this time there was a heartbeat and a baby in the sac. The first ultrasound was a little uneasy but when I heard the heartbeat tears began to roll down my face. This pregnancy was different than my first pregnancy so I knew it had to be a girl. Sure enough she was a girl. She was born on March 5, 2014. The labor wasn’t long at all. She looked just like me. We prayed for a name for her. While carrying her I heard that she was going to be a warrior; so we knew she had to have a name that meant strength. Her name is Aerial the lioness of Yahweh.
As she grows through the years I see more of myself in her. We eat the same things, we like the same things, she play just like I did when I was little, her conversations are beyond her years, her responses to hurt are just like mine, her desire to be around me at precious moments in her life are just like I was around my mom. Her temper is just like mine per my mom. Her desire to have friends that love her is just like mine. She is very strong and bold. She mean what she says and says what she mean. She will correct you immediately. She has the heart of an evangelist. She will teach at all cost to anyone and anything. She has the imagination of a leader/ entrepreneur. Let me not withhold that she has her daddy’s eyes and his lips and will sing at any given time; that is a gift from her dad. She is precious to me.
I watched her play alone one day and I was having to cook and take care of the other kids and I began to cry because I wanted to be at two places at one time but I knew I needed to cook for the family. I cried out to Yahweh and said what do I do when my daughter want me but I have other task to complete. He said it is good for her to be alone at times because it is building and preparing her to stand alone and still do the things she love to do even if there is no one there physically to do it with her. He said I am building her confidence and her desire to trust that she is never alone. He said you will not always be there when she need you and it is better to get it now than to get it later in life when it hurts the most. He said do you allow others to hold you back from doing the things you love to do? I said no; he said well trust that she is fine and when she need you; you will be there. I cried so much. No parent wants to see their child play alone knowing she would rather have you right there playing with her. Keep in mind this was just for a moment. Moms let this be encouragement to you that you are not a bad mom if you find yourself not being available every time your daughter or son requests your attention. It is a teaching moment. I always explain to her when I can’t and why I can’t play with her.
Because I see my reflection when I look at her, I often have flashbacks down memory lane of seeing her but seeing me in the same moments of my life. I remember the desire to be a teacher and how I would teach to the chairs and have a full classroom, grade book, homework, assignments etc. Aerial does the exact same thing. The first time I saw it all I could do was smile. I have often been the student in Aerial’s classroom. The beauty in this is I notice and take time to nurture her and teach her through the different processes of life on how to be a girl, a daughter, a sister, a mom, a cousin and a wife one day and a friend. I explain to her that as much as she would like to be with me every second of the day mommy also has other responsibilities and need moments to herself. I say mommy is a wife and also a mother to 3 other kids that love me just as much as she does and no child is more important than the other. I said I did the same for her that I do for her younger siblings and I have to divide my time amongst everyone. I said as a mom and a wife these are the things you will do as well.
When you see another generation after you being raised up in your house you take value in what you expose them to and what you say to them and what you desire for them to believe in. We tell her she is beautiful. We tell her she is a princess. We tell her she is smart. We tell her she can do all things through Christ that strengthen her. We tell her that she is the head and not the tail, she is above and not beneath and she is the lender and not the borrower. We tell her that she is blessed and favor follows her wherever she go. We tell her she is important and she should NEVER compare herself to anyone else because Yahweh made her just the way he wanted her to be and she is beautiful. We teach her to never let anyone else make her feel less than who Yahweh has called her to be. We tell her true friends don’t hurt you on purpose, they build you up and accept you for who you are while they encourage you to be a better you. We teach her to stand for righteousness even when others don’t believe or call her names. Know who you are sweetheart and mommy and daddy will always love you. Seek Yahweh for who your husband will be and the declarations go on and on.
To you it may seem as if I worship my husband and my kids but to Yahweh he see a woman that appreciates what he has blessed her with knowing that none of this would have been possible if it wasn’t for the help of Yahweh. He get the glory for all I have. Just as she is precious to him so is she precious to my husband and I. Just as Yahweh protects us; we protect her. Because she is a gift and a child of Yahweh she will NOT be treated any less from anyone.
This is a love letter written from me to her. Many prayers went up for her to get here and many prayers are going up for her to be productive for the kingdom while she is on this earth. I know I can not be with her forever but while I am here, she will know that mommy love her and mommy is proud of her and I look forward in rejoicing every step of the way as she journeys through this thing called life. Every time I look at her I see a greater me. Even though you are not me; you are a reflection of me…